When a fire occurs in the country, country people do not dial 911. Instead they dial the 7-digit number for the volunteer fire department. The call is automatically redirected to the county Sheriff’s deputy who immediately places a mass call to the “fire phones” of volunteer firemen. The deputy also places a [...]
Archive for April 5th, 2008
#18 Volunteer Firemen
Posted in Community on April 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
#17 Taco In A Bag
Posted in Food on April 5, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Country people love to add ground beef, lettuce and cheese to a bag of crushed-up Fritos and call it “taco in a bag.” Tacos in a bag are served in the Fritos bag with a disposable fork. Tacos in a bag are a favorite concession at sporting events, county fairs and auctions [...]
#16 Monster Truck Racing
Posted in Sports on April 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Not every country person loves monster truck racing. Some prefer mud-bogging or demolition derby. However, far more country people like monster truck racing than city people. “Grave Digger” is the favorite monster truck of many country people. Country people will travel hundreds of miles to an arena in a city to [...]
#15 Clip-On Ties
Posted in Clothing on April 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Country people keep extremely busy schedules and country men often do not have time to tie their tie when they attend a wedding, calling hours, or the annual graduation festivities. To address this problem many country men wear clip-on ties. Ties of this variety clip over the top button of a “button-down shirt.” Country men [...]
#14 Graduations
Posted in Community, Education on April 5, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Country people attend two graduations each year. The first, “8th grade promotion,” takes place in the grade school multipurpose room. Country people who are not parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts or uncles of an 8th grader or a 7th grade band member are excused from attending. However, all acquaintances of the graduates are [...]
#13 Multipurpose Rooms
Posted in Community, tagged Shout out to M. Hyde on April 5, 2008 | 1 Comment »
The center of a country person’s social life is the grade school multipurpose room. Multipurpose rooms are large, open, indoor-spaces with hard floors and high ceilings. Every country school has one multipurpose room that is used as a cafeteria, auditorium, theater, gymnasium and indoor track, among multiple other uses. Country people [...]
#12 Salad Bars
Posted in Food on April 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The finest sit-down restaurants frequented by country people have extraordinary salad bars on Friday and Saturday nights. If you happen upon a country sit-down restaurant you must first “check out the salad bar” to determine whether or not you instead drive to the city for supper. Country people themselves have the added option [...]
#11 Beauty Pageants
Posted in Culture on April 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Country people conduct more “beauty pageants” per capita than any other people in the world. This is, in part, because country people love to see other country people crowned as “beauty queens.” The main reasons for beauty pageants, however, are economic ones. Beauty pageants, and the subsequent work of beauty queens, occupy dozens of [...]
#10 Meth Labs
Posted in Community on April 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Country people do NOT like “druggies,” “drug dealers,” “deadbeats,” or “crack heads.” They also do NOT like the riffraff that accompanies the presence of methamphetamine labs. However, because country people often find themselves unable to relate to “big city problems” they welcome the opportunity to commiserate with their urban colleagues and acquaintances about how drugs [...]
#9 Whispering
Posted in Culture on April 5, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Country people whisper a lot. Their interest in whispering is entirely utilitarian. There are two primary uses for the whisper. The first use is to ensure that one is not overheard. It is very rare that a country person is in public without knowing all those around them. As a [...]
